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Hi guys, it’s us Corné and Twakkie talking to you out of your own computer porthole. Yes we are on the interweb and it’s nice here, thanks for having us.
It’s not always so easy as saying ‘Steve Hofmeyer is not my dad’ for us to get on here sometimes. Our computer machine is a 1985 model Commodore deluxe which runs off the battery of a 1979 Ford Escort, which is to say that it is quite kak.
But once we fire that old bitch up, a world of technological joy besprinkles our faceballs. But maybe and perhaps even more interesting than that, old ‘Bessie’ actually turns into our very own tool with which to sprinkle our own particular seed of joy out to the world in there.
Right from the very first moment we locked unto the interweb through Bessie and discovered the Vleisbrook page of probably the greatest artist of at least the last four hundred years of humanity kind – Patricia ‘Golden Boobs of Glory’ maLewis – we knew that this was the brave new dawn of some kind of mighty paradigm shit.
What was this world of profiles and opinions? Whence from, this crazy land of hashtags and pokes? And more so even, would we ever be able to even have half of the followers or friends as Leon ‘I shit gold’ Schuster? Of course never, but at least we finally had something at last to dream on.
After a couple of weeks of experimentation and an initial setback when we had to replace a suspension valve tapit of Bessie’s monitor, we finally started to get a hold on the swing of it. Corné was already making massive inroads to a Siberian cyber sex legend – Brosky ‘the Purple Headed Prince’ of Russia’s cyber-sexual-territory. During these forays, Corné also discovered that he had an even bigger piepermannetjie on the interweb than in the flesh world.
Meanwhile Twakkie has ordered a very rare kind of turkeypig from some followers in New Zealand. Apparently the pig is 20% chicken…tasty, we know, and Twakkie is planning to splice it and create a entirely new genus.
But what has even been more fun than the illegal blackmarket dealings we have delved into is the way in which we have actually been able to talk unto our golden fans.
There are beautiful people out there who actually throw Corné and Twakkie parties, could you believe it? Well we could and we’ve seen the pictures on Vleisbroek and as you well know, something is not actually real until there is a picture of it on Vleisbroek, so believe it because it’s true. Because just like it says in the Style of Love – everyone has a little Corné and Twakkie in them – that’s right we are you…just sexier. And why not dress up as us and take pictures? We love it. Do it and tag yourself as us! What a not kak idea! It’s like dressing up as your own Santa Claus. Asem. Imagine…20 yrs from now… ‘Look Mammie there’s a Twakkie.’
And you know what also is not kak – the fact that we can tell people about our shows without having to pay through our peophol to our kind and caring arts-supporting city councils to earn the right to stick a poster on a pole.
The revolution will not be televised it will be posted and poked, shared and retweeted.
Until then why not make the most of it – when it’s late at night and you feeling scared and you cant fall asleep why not follow Gen AWB André Visagie on his Twitter stream? That way you will sleep assured knowing that there is always a bigger doos than you out there somewhere.