The Academy Awards — Hollywood’s proudest event — took place last night, so it makes sense that there weren’t that many trailers released in the past week. No one wants to compete with that attention. But the competition didn’t deter some, and I desperately wish it had.
If you’re someone who enjoys objectively bad films (we’re all human), then this week is going to blow your mind.
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Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul
Diary of Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul is the fourth installment in the franchise, and is intended to be a sequel despite starring an entirely new cast.
The plot? Greg reroutes the family’s trip to their grandmother’s birthday so that he can become famous at a comic convention. Advertised hilarity includes: bad driving, a boat that flies into a pool, singalongs to the Spice Girls, and the existence of a pig.
Look out, Oscars 2018!
The film is set to be released 19 May.
Devil In The Dark
Creepy woods? Check. Creepier child? You bet. Ridiculous-looking monster? Would you have it any other way?
Devil in the Dark looks destined to only be discussed when a teenager takes the film to a scary movie sleepover.
It tells the original story of two white men who can’t help but make mistakes. They go hiking in the woods; there’s a creepy dream child and a monster that looks like someone in those full-body latex onesies.
The trailer makes me think it’s a film that has twists the filmmakers think are really cool, but 15-year-olds are going to call them ten minutes in.
Arriving at cinemas 7 March.
Rock And A Hard Place
Dwayne Johnson — formerly known as The Rock — is starring in an HBO documentary about a criminal rehabilitation boot camp that functions both as “rehab” and “prison.”
In the year after Ava Duvernay released her documentary 13th about the USA’s prison industrial complex, the setup of Rock and a Hard Place is unsettling.
Firstly, why is Johnson even there? He mentions his troubled past, and his time in a boot camp like this is alluded to, but it feels more like a Biggest Loser type show about prison with Johnson as the celebrity host.
Secondly, are they going to delve into the systems that put young men in prison in the first place?
And lastly, are they going to glorify the deeply flawed US prison system?
The answers will be revealed 27 March.
The Discovery
Jason Segel is getting serious — and weirdly spiritual.
The Discovery is about a scientific discovery that verifies the existence of the afterlife. One year after this revelation, millions of people around the world commit suicide to reach the new plane of existence. Segel has a weird relationship with a girl who could possibly already be dead.
The trailer paints an exciting enough picture — and its definitely the trailer of the week for me — but its grimdark nature seems depressing and the way it deals with suicide is questionable.
Not too questionable not to give the film a chance, though, and we can do that 31 March on Netflix.
Bright
While some films have shied away from releasing trailers so close to Oscars night, Bright decided to make an impact and air the trailer during the ceremony’s ads.
Will Smith stars in this dark buddy cop movie with an Orc. In a world in which humans and magical creatures live side-by-side (because we’ve proven how well-equipped we are to deal with otherness), Smith and his Orc partner set out to find a dangerous weapon.
The CGI is underwhelming, and it’s a safe bet that Will Smith was a big chunk of the production budget.
Hopefully the next trailer won’t be so intense, because right now it looks like it takes itself way too seriously. Give us that Will Smith comic relief!
Catch it on Netflix in December.
