While South Africa may be preparing for a cold, dry winter, Hollywood is gearing up for a summer of blockbusters, and, hey, at least that’s something to look forward to. Last week saw the final trailers of three stupidly big budget films, and one stupidly big budget HBO show. It’s time to guess if the money was worth it.
Game of Thrones
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The official trailer for the penultimate season of Game of Thrones is here, promising a whole bunch of monotonous lines about power and plenty of action.
The trailer teases Daenerys’s arrival to Westeros, Davos giving advice no one will heed, and, most importantly, a gorgeous strategy room with a map of Westeros laid into the floor. Where have the art directors been hiding this? What else have they been keeping from us?
We’re going to have to wait until 16 July to find out, but until then, why not worry with me about the showrunners’ deep misunderstanding of their characters?
Wonder
Wonder is the latest film based on a children’s book that is manufactured just to make you cry.
Jacob Tremblay (who’s already had many people bawling in Room) stars as a young boy with a rare facial deformity that has seen him through many a surgery. After years of homeschooling, his mother (Julia Roberts) decides to enroll him in a private school, praying he can finally make some friends.
If you’re ready to sob in a room full of strangers, catch Wonder in South African theatres 12 January 2018.
Logan Lucky
All you need to know about Logan Lucky is that it’s a heist film starring Channing Tatum, Adam Driver, Daniel Craig, Seth MacFarlane, Sebastian Stan, Riley Keogh, Katie Holmes, and Hilary Swank.
If you need anything more: it’s racing centred, everyone sports the most ridiculous Southern US accents, and even the trailer elicits some real laugh out loud moments.
Logan Lucky is in SA 8 September.
Can’t Stop Won’t Stop: A Bad Boy Story
Can’t Stop Won’t Stop is an Apple-exclusive film on the story of Sean “Diddy” Combs’ Bad Boy Records.
Produced by Diddy himself, the film “explores the passion and personalities of Bad Boy.” From his music to his unique vision to the fateful shooting that killed Biggie, the documentary promises to explore it all.
The film will be available on Apple Music from 25 June.
Spider-Man: Homecoming
The third and final trailer for Spider-Man: Homecoming has been released, and not much is new except for a few seconds with the incredible Zendaya, and a single shot of Donald Glover (whose role has not yet been announced.)
The trailer also teases the relationship between Peter Parker and Tony Stark — Marvel’s snarkiest characters who are both sure to be a hit with fans.
Spider-Man: Homecoming hits South Africa 7 July, and if you’re a planner, its sequel is scheduled for 5 July 2019.
Ozark
Jason Bateman plays a money launderer for a Mexican drug cartel in Netflix’s latest series, probably because someone had to go and burn down the banana stand.
The trailer is dark, ambient, and intense, and should have fans of the likes of Breaking Bad and The Bridge very excited.
Ozark is on Netflix 21 July.
Despicable Me
Are you preparing yourself for the minions invasion? You should be. Despicable Me 3 is on its way, back to rehash jokes and critique a flawed prison system (probably.)
This time, Gru meets his long-lost also-evil twin brother, who manages to pull him back into a life of villainy. The minions are head honchos of prison (a human prison, which begs a lot of questions), and they even have a choreographed dance routine. If it’s Cell Block Tango, I may just be tempted to watch this.
Despicable Me 3 premieres in South Africa 30 June.
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets has released its final trailer, and it promises a visual experience like no other.
From the director of The Fifth Element and Lucy comes the adaptation of the popular French graphic novel about two space agents in charge of fighting space crime.
“Valerian and Laureline must race to identify [a] marauding menace and safeguard not just Alpha, but the future of the universe,” the description reads.
Take that, Marvel. They’re guarding the entire universe.
Valerian hits South African theatres 21 July.
