This week in our roundup we have a healthy blend of high-budget, polished trailers and low-budgets that use egregious fonts — so whether you’re feeling artsy or in the mood for trash, you’re bound to get something out of it.
Here’s the list.
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Tomb Raider
Alicia Vikander (Ex Machina, The Danish Girl) is Lara Croft in the upcoming reboot of Tomb Raider, and fans are already displeased.
“Last message from father cliche, saving world with dead dad cliche, badass hero fight countless men with machine guns cliche,” wrote one YouTube commenter — which is valid.
A whole host of other comments commented on the size of Vikander’s breasts — which is substantially less so.
Tomb Raider opens in South Africa on 16 March 2018.
Pitch Perfect 3
The latest trailer for Pitch Perfect 3 reveals more of the plot and it’s… exactly what you’d expect.
The Barden Bellas are old. They want to perform one last time at an event that keeps middle America happy. But wait — they may not be as good as they think and someone is trying to split up their family. It’s all too shocking.
Pitch Perfect premieres in SA on 22 December.
Murder on the Orient Express
The official trailer for the star-studded Murder on the Orient Express is here and it shows way too much Johnny Depp for anyone’s liking.
The Agatha Christie adaptation also features Kenneth Branagh, Daisy Ridley, Judi Dench, Michelle Pfeiffer, Penelope Cruz, Josh Gad, Leslie Odom Jr and Willem Dafoe.
It opens in SA on 24 November.
Maze Runner: The Death Cure
The third installment of the Maze Runner trilogy is coming, and if you’re surprised it’s still going, you’re not alone.
Dylan O’Brien as Thomas is now leading his ragtag group of friends through their final mission, but if that doesn’t excite you perhaps the fact that some of it was shot in Cape Town (and you may get a peep of Bree Street) will.
The Death Cure opens on 26 January 2018.
Marvel’s The Punisher
The latest in Marvel’s partnership with Netflix is coming in the form of The Punisher, which delves deeper into the character previously only featured in Daredevil.
The show revolves around Frank Castle, a vigilante willing to take on the criminal underworld by any means necessary. The show is set to follow the continuity of the other Marvel shows.
It premieres on Netflix “in 2017”, so mark that on your calendars, I guess.
Isle of Dogs
If stop-motion animation doesn’t creep you out as much as it does me, then, boy, do I have news for you.
Wes Anderson’s first stop-motion since Fantastic Mr Fox is here, and it’s all about exiled dogs who help a human search for his lost pet. It’s going to be adorable.
Catch Isle of Dogs in SA on 22 June 2018.
Peter Rabbit
And if, unlike me, you’re not still angry at James Corden for posing with former White House Communications Director Sean Spicer, here’s a trailer of him voicing the beloved Peter Rabbit.
The live action/CGI film has caused an uproar on YouTube for mucking up the ethos of the Beatrix Potter books, which saw Peter Rabbit as a charmingly innocent fellow, and not the snarky raver he appears to be in this.
But if none of that deters you, you can watch Peter Rabbit in cinemas on 30 March 2018.
The Meyerowitz Stories
One of only two Netflix films that premiered at the prestigious Cannes Film Festival earlier this year, The Meyerowitz Stories is finally making its debut for the general public.
The comedy-drama stars Ben Stiller, Dustin Hoffman and Adam Sandler — but before you roll your eyes, know that some have called it his best work to date.
The film debuts globally on Netflix on 13 October.
Spielberg
HBO’s documentary on Steven Spielberg — aptly titled Spielberg — explores the career of the director that changed the game when he released Jaws in 1975.
Interviewing the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio, Liam Neeson, and Martin Scorsese, HBO seeks to “pull back the curtain” on Spielberg’s illustrious career.
It airs in the US on 7 October.
1922
Have you been thinking, man, there’s just not enough Stephen King adaptations around right now?
You’re not alone: Netflix’s upcoming 1922 is based on one of King’s novellas and tells of a farmer who kills his wife for wanting to move to the city. But — surprise — she doesn’t stay dead for long.
Catch 1922 on Netflix on 20 October.
MFA
Ostensibly standing for Masters of Fine Art, MFA tells the story of a college campus rape survivor who, after failing to receive support from the institution, elicits her own revenge.
The film stars Clint Eastwood’s daughter Francesca Eastwood, and premiered this year at South by Southwest film festival.
The film does not yet have a release.
Double Date
Here’s a plot synopsis I never thought I’d write: Double Date tells of a 29-year-old virgin looking to get laid before his 30th birthday, only to go on a double date with serial killer sisters looking to kill him.
It stars Danny Morgan (On the Road), Michael Socha (Once Upon a Time) and Georgia Groome (Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging), and premieres in the UK on 13 October.
Cook Off!
Cook Off! is a comedy starring Melissa McCarthy about a cooking show filled with idiots — and the trailer has not gone down well with viewers.
“I’ve been to funnier funerals,” wrote one user. Another suggested it looked like the crew had only “five bucks to make this”.
In its defense: Cook Off! actually debuted ten years ago at the US Comedy Arts Festival, and Lionsgate has just now picked it off the shelf for distribution.
It premieres in the US on 17 November.
November Criminals
Here’s another shelved film that should have stayed that way.
November Criminals (which wrapped filming in 2015) tells the story of a high-school student (Ansel Elgort) who’s semi-close friend is murdered, and none of the dang adults believe him that it wasn’t a gang. A tragedy.
Also, Chloe Grace Moretz is in it and I would bet real money she’s involved in the murder.
It will be released in the US through video-on-demand on 7 November.
