It’s still February. I don’t know how. I thought this was meant to be the shortest month and yet here we are, still in February. To make matters worse? There are only two first trailers on this list. Everything else is a second or third.
If you haven’t been following trailers closely, though, then these may feel brand new. I hope that’s true for you. Here they are.
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Incredibles 2
Disney is calling this a “sneak peek” but it’s a trailer and its marketing jargon doesn’t work on me.
In it, Mr Incredible stays at home to look after multi-super-powered baby Jack Jack while Elastigirl heads out to fight crime again. There’s criminally low content on Violet, the obvious best character, but it’s okay because Frozone is confirmed to be in the sequel.
Incredibles 2 hits South African theatres 15 June.
Gringo
Gringo stars David Oyelowo, Charlize Theron, Joel Edgerton and Amanda Seyfried, but the YouTube comments section is abuzz with excitement for a one-second shot of Paris Jackson, daughter of Michael.
The dark comedy is about a timid businessmen who gets kidnapped in Mexico when trying to legally sell marijuana — and his self-serving bosses in the US prove less than helpful.
The film is out 23 March.
Ready Player One
This trailer for Steven Spielberg’s Ready Player One desperately wants to make VR headgear look cool and that’s admirable but ultimately futile.
Also — the cute girl walks around with her jersey off one shoulder as if that would be comfortable or practical in any way. There’s other important stuff at play, but that’s what stood out to me and I’m here to speak my truth.
Ready Player One opens 30 March.
Pacific Rim Uprising
John Boyega gives rousing speech. Human-manned gigantic robots fight buildings and also monsters. British guy gives grave warning. Monster eats metal leg like chicken drumstick.
Watch it all in Pacific Rim Uprising come 23 March.
Rampage
Dwayne Johnson is on a roll, and at this point it doesn’t even matter what new blockbuster he’s in — people are gonna watch it.
That being said, it is the purpose of this list to give you new trailers, so here’s the one where an empathetic Johnson, who loves his friend the gorilla, has to help when evil scientists make his gorilla and other animals very large.
Watch the scenario unfold on 13 April.
Mary Magdalene
Rooney Mara is Mary Magdalene, Joaquin Phoenix is Jesus, whom Mary loves, but a lot of people don’t like either of them because he professes to be the son of God.
Will they live happily ever after? South Africans may never find out because there is as yet no local release date.
A Quiet Place
John Krasinski and wife Emily Blunt’s first film together, A Quiet Place, is a post-apocalyptic horror about what seems to be little blind gremlins who only find you when they can hear you.
The trailer is creepy, well-paced, and intriguing, and includes a lonely scene of childbirth, which is pretty ambitious.
Catch A Quiet Place in theatres 6 April.
Descendants 3
Need a break from all the violence and drama? Here’s some fun news: Disney Channel original movie Descendants is coming back for a third installment.
The campy musical about the kids of Disney’s heroes and villains was well-received by audiences, and this teaser promises the appearance of Mal’s father and one-time lover of Maleficent.
The sequel is coming 2019.
