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Is Destiny for you? Take our extremely scientific quiz to find out

Today, on Destiny launch day, there’s going to be much said of the most-hyped game of 2014. But how do you know if Destiny is for you? We’ve compiled this ultra-scientific report that will easily answer that question for you. Remember your answers, you’ll need them later.

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Do you like Peter Dinklage?

Game of Thrones actor Peter Dinklage voice-acts Ghost, an A.I. companion that will predictably follow us throughout the game, doling out advice and moving the story along. His dulcet tones have in fact, been tweaked three times in the lead-up to the final release of Destiny. After fans voiced their concerns in Destiny alpha and beta, Bungie updated Dinklage’s voice one last time for the final version of Destiny. Judging from my experience in the alpha and beta, there’s going to be a lot of Dinklage, so exit now if you’re not a fan. Alternatively, you could mute all in-game audio.

Are you a fan of first-person shooters?

Get ready to shoot aliens, robots and fellow humans in the face for hours on end. Destiny is a FPS (Bungie calls it a “shared-world shooter”), but one created by the boffins behind the Xbox’s Halo series. While no-one knows how much downtime there’ll be — and the only downtime I experienced was during my time in the Tower — Destiny is going to be one hell of an action-packed shooter. So get ready to look down the barrel of your laser rifle for months on end. There’s a fair bit of exploration, but it’s constantly punctuated by shooting, and then more shooting.

Do you have a PS3, PS4, Xbox 360 or Xbox One?

If you’re a glorious PC user, you will not be playing Destiny in the near future. According to Bungie, the PC version of Destiny is slated for a 2015 release. Why the delay? According to Bungie, PC development is “pretty complicated”. PS4 owners will fare the best, as they get exclusive access to weapon and map DLC before Xbox owners.

Do you have a fast, stable online connection?

Destiny is going to be always-online, in fact, the game won’t run without an internet connection. This ain’t Bungie’s first rodeo though, but it is its first game where the single-player mode requires a stable connection. Bungie abates single player fears by promising a solid solo gaming experience: “We want to be able to give you that strong narrative, you as a solo player. We want you to have that. If you want to do it by yourself, that’s totally okay.” No internet, no Destiny for you.

Are you in love with epic, swooping soundtracks?

The music of Destiny is composed by Martin O’Donnell and Michael Salvatori, Halo’s audio producers. For those who played the Destiny demos or any Halo, they’ll know exactly how grandiose the music can be when the action kicks off. Here’s a portion of that soundtrack. One sore point: Bungie fired O’Donnell shortly after he finished composing the music for Destiny, so no-one’s really sure who wrote what. If you like your games quiet and unassuming, don’t buy Destiny.

Do you play well with others?

While Destiny can be played in solo mode, it’s the PvP (skirmishes, etc) and PvE (co-op) that will set it apart from the rest. Competitive modes include: capturing areas in “Control”, player versus player in “Rumble”, a six versus six deathmatch named “Clash”, a smaller-teamed version of Control named “Skirmish”, and the artifact hunting missions of “Salvage”. Then there’s the single-player mode with the heavily hyped “Raid” missions, which are essentially six-man instances for high-level players. Other co-op missions include the “Strikes”, whereby teams of Guardians must fight off wave after wave of enemy. So if you’re a fan of the single-player games, Destiny may not hold much interest for you.

Do you like games that can be finished in one sitting?

This is a game for the long-term, not those looking for a bit of casual gaming. While no-one yet knows how long Destiny is, some sites report that there will be 32 story missions, 11 Crucible (online multiplayer) maps, 23 Strikes and 5 areas for exploring, but this is as yet unconfirmed. What we do know, as told to us by Bungie, is this: “Destiny’s pretty big. It’s the biggest game we’ve ever made, by far, and we’re sort of known for making games you can play for months, years, and even decades if you’re a little bit…dedicated. If we’re fortunate enough to have you playing months after launch, you still find lots of compelling stuff to do. That will manifest itself in a myriad of ways, from straight up content to cool activities we’ve yet to show off.”

How did you score? 

If you answered “no” to any of the questions, then Destiny isn’t the game for you. Especially if you don’t like Peter Dinklage, shame on you.

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