Last week in trailers: Black Panther, Jean-Claude Van Damme & more

You may have missed it, but last week happened. There was a Monday, in which many were upset about the state of their lives, a Wednesday, in which we all tolerated overuse of the word “hump”, and even a Friday, in which I got tipsy off some Moscow mules and ate too much Indian food.

There were also some trailers. Here they are.

Black Panther

The official Black Panther trailer is here, and what a blessing for our eyeballs.

Starring Chadwick Boseman, Lupita Nyong’o, Michael B Jordan, Angela Bassett, Forest Whitaker, Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis, Marvel’s latest solo endeavour looks to be one of the coolest in its cinematic universe.

Catch it in SA cinemas 16 February 2018.

Jean-Claude Van Johnson

Here’s a really fun snippet from Amazon about its latest series starring — you guessed it — Jean-Claude Van Damme:

What if I told you that Jean-Claude Van Damme — yes, THAT Jean-Claude Van Damme — was, in fact, a secret agent? That his entire film career was built solely as a front for his black ops? Would you believe me? No? Well then that’s egg on your face because that’s what this show is about.

I couldn’t have said it better if I tried.

Jean-Claude Van Johnson premieres on Amazon 15 December.

I Love You, Daddy

And the award for most poorly-timed trailer goes to… Louis CK, for his promo of I Love You, Daddy.

At a time when Hollywood is awash with sexual harassment and assault allegations — and the dark underbelly of the industry is revealed — CK thought it time to promote a film about an old producer who “likes young girls”. Said young girls are canonically minors — but it’s okay, because “we’re all perverts”. Nice.

I Love You, Daddy has a limited US release starting 17 November.

I, Tonya

I, Tonya tells the story of figure skater Tonya Harding, who was found to be involved with the attack of fellow skater Nancy Kerrigan, almost leaving her unable to compete in the 1994 Winter Olympics.

The film, starring Margot Robbie, has garnered a 90% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, with one critic calling it “an avalanche of greatness that sustains its high energy and witty beats”. Others were less impressed: “This mean-spirited biopic provides cheap laughs at the expense of its subjects.”

I, Tonya hits SA theatres 16 February 2018.

12 Strong

You know what the world really needs right now? A film that glorifies war and impulsive responses to terror.

12 Strong is a film about the group of men chosen as the first troops sent into Afghanistan after 9/11. It stars Chris Hemsworth, Michael Shannon, Michael Peña, Navid Negahban, and Trevante Rhodes.

Catch it in SA theatres 9 February 2018.

Bitch

Here’s a film about a wife and mother who becomes so fed up with her family that she assumes the persona of a vicious dog.

According to the trailer, it’s meant to be “feminist satire” — but, from the trailer, all we get is that no one can cope without mothers. Hardly revolutionary, but I guess we’ll take what we can get?

Bitch is “coming soon”.

Marvel’s The Punisher

This is the second official trailer for the Netflix/Marvel collab The Punisher.

There is very little left to say of it, and if you haven’t already decided whether you’re going to watch it or not, then I can’t help you. All I know is I never want to watch a man avenge the death of his wife and children on screen ever again.

The Punisher premieres on Netflix 17 November.

The Chi

From creator Lena Waithe (Master of None), and executive producer Common (Selma), comes Showtime’s The Chi, a coming-of-age drama series set in the south side of Chicago.

“The Chi is a timely coming-of-age story centering on a group of residents who become linked by coincidence but bonded by the need for connection and redemption,” a synopsis reads.

The Chi premieres on 7 January 2018 in the US.

Coming soon:

• A teaser for Helen Mirren’s Winchester: The House That Ghosts Built should be online this week.
• A new trailer for Liam Neeson’s The Commuter is on its way.
• Paul Thomas Anderson’s Phantom Thread is coming soon.
• David Ayer’s Bright, starring Will Smith, will get a new trailer Wednesday.