Load shedding love: an ode to the Nokia 6303i Classic

I am starting to adapt to my new environment. The tick is starting to subside. I have stopped subconsciously reaching for my phone whenever a YouTube video surpasses the 2 minute mark. I watched the theatre of the absurd that is #SONA2015 with my hand in my hair.

I am not on some spiritual journey to get in touch with nature, here to tell you to stop seeing the world through the lens of your smartphone or to swop your augmented life for something “real”. I simply lost my phone, or it was stolen, I’m not sure (no, I was not drunk). I have been without my Samsung Galaxy S4 Mini for a week, rocking a Nokia 6303i Classic.

My contacts, photos and other personal information was in the cloud, so no worries there. However, after my phone went M.I.A. the horror of being stranded without WhatsApp and Wunderlist hit me. Next I wanted to Instagram the hilarious and elusive “Cheatah — FS” custom numberplate. At the office sending an SMS meant being subjected to ridicule. The biggest schlep was the uncharacteristically, keen clerk at the bank who could not wait to install their app on my “new” phone. I think I might have scarred her for life.

However, like I said, I am starting to adapt. I am returning to old ways to carry out tasks which apps seemlessly perform and sync. I rediscovered how extraordinary Opera Mini is, downsizing the homepage of Memeburn.com to a mere 32kb and offering extensive low-bandwidth sports news and live scores with a simple interface on Sports.Opera.com. My unremarkable to-do-list is only a shortcut away. I customised the timer to the Pomodoro technique. The alarm is deafening, so much so that getting out of bed to turn it off is an act of self-defence. Soon I might catch “Cheatah — FS” with my 3.2 megapixel camera.

On an ideological note, in the light of blackouts, my Nokia 6303i Classic has become personal protest against Eskom by going off the grid (for extended periods of time). It’s day seven and there are still two out of five bars left on my battery. I might charge it on Monday, who knows. Amandla Awethu! On a personal note, I cannot wait to upgrade in a couple of months. “Cheatah — FS” you can run all you want, but I’m coming for you.

Pros
Reading old messages #tbt
Long battery life
No ads at the bottom of the screen
You feel like a spy when you manually dial numbers on the physical keyboard

Cons
Reading old messages #smh
Poor camera
It’s back to SIM contacts without Google Sync
You can only run one app at a time