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Man’s awkward reaction to sexy Harry Potter fan fiction is now on Twitter
Shelley Zhang’s friend thought he was reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix when he was told that nowhere in the books does Dudley Dursley commit suicide because Peter Pettigrew had him under the Imperius curse.
Naturally, Zhang had to take her friend’s confusion to Twitter.
Friend is reading Harry Potter for the first time. He suddenly realizes he’s read a fanfiction Order of the Phoenix instead of the real one. pic.twitter.com/tKNgT6usi6
— Shelley Zhang (@shelzhang) July 10, 2017
It seems as if the friend was “gifted” a collection of the books (he almost certainly pirated them), but from Order of the Phoenix onward, JK Rowling’s words were replaced by a fan named Barb’s.
Barb had written fan fiction Harry Potter and the Psychic Serpent more than ten years ago, and it was meant to be read as an insert between Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix.
Her description teases a Ron/Hermione/Harry love triangle that somehow feeds into a Draco/Ginny/Harry one. Voldemort doesn’t want to kill Harry anymore. Oh, and there’s lots of sex.
Naturally, Zhang’s friend was flummoxed.
I had to burst his bubble about Ginny and Draco, unfortunately. pic.twitter.com/DKKdC5jdA4
— Shelley Zhang (@shelzhang) July 10, 2017
A handy guide to recognizing fanfic: Lots of sex=probably fanfic. pic.twitter.com/HiWkfWboGa
— Shelley Zhang (@shelzhang) July 11, 2017
I think this is the point when he started having a breakdown pic.twitter.com/ZGPJ9MBBLF
— Shelley Zhang (@shelzhang) July 11, 2017
Yes, hindsight is 20/20 pic.twitter.com/PNeime0Ceq
— Shelley Zhang (@shelzhang) July 11, 2017
It’s good to know that fanfic is responsible about sex ed. I think. pic.twitter.com/mo3TAtQDJz
— Shelley Zhang (@shelzhang) July 11, 2017
Some stuff that wasn’t quite true, but wasn’t…exactly not true? Also, LOL at Harry getting all muscled from running. Very detailed. pic.twitter.com/oJyqXO2tKS
— Shelley Zhang (@shelzhang) July 11, 2017
Nobody spoil what happens with Snape, ok? pic.twitter.com/y8IAfnEwO1
— Shelley Zhang (@shelzhang) July 11, 2017
Reality sinks in pic.twitter.com/KY8YynzSaJ
— Shelley Zhang (@shelzhang) July 11, 2017
The more Zhang learned of this alternate universe, though, the more she became intrigued.
When you slowly get won over by the fanfic pic.twitter.com/o91WLEikPE
— Shelley Zhang (@shelzhang) July 11, 2017
And then you start wondering if you’d rather just live in the delusion pic.twitter.com/0C8ryN9peR
— Shelley Zhang (@shelzhang) July 11, 2017
Is this the book version of downloading an illegal song off Limewire and getting Darude’s “Sandstorm” instead? It’s likely.
Oh, he’s definitely learned his lesson.
— Shelley Zhang (@shelzhang) July 11, 2017
Twitter darling JK Rowling has not yet commented on the mishap.