The US$3 700 TAG Heuer Racer Android smartphone

We brought you the US$2 350 Porsche Design BlackBerry P’9981, now, meet the US$3 700 TAG Heuer Racer.

If you’re the person that can drop the cash on a phone like this, I’m humbled, thank you for reading this article, but may I make a suggestion? If you’re looking for something spectacular, you won’t find it in TAG’s latest. Instead may I suggest a head-turning, bleeding-edge Android device with a clear upgrade path from two of the world’s top hardware and software manufacturers, something like the Samsung Galaxy Nexus. It’s spectacular in white. You can buy four of them.

Perhaps I’ve done little to deter you, that’s understandable. I don’t know what it’s like to have a wealthy Sheikh on my left whip out a Vertu and a cigar toking Texas oil magnate BBM on a P’9881 on my right.

If that’s your predicament, you’re looking at a device with a shockproof rubber chassis, bolstered by screwed-in titanium and carbon fiber bridges.

Your new jewel encrusted Veyron is being delivered and at that very moment your neighbour drives by in the exact same thing. You’re understandably furious and you want to break something. Why not take it out on your phone? The TAG Racer has “unparalleled torsion and strength to weight ratio”.

With the Racer, TAG Heuer “strives for excellence” with its high speed — unspecified — processor and latest Android software — who wants to bet it will be Gingerbread? TAG promises a one of a kind customizable 3D user interface to fit the individual needs of each owner. Riveting.

The Racer will be available in TAG Heuer boutiques, luxury mobile boutiques and selected watch and jewelry retailers in July.

In closing, the Racer is a full-tilt assault on sensibilities and I’m personally offended by it. If you can’t stomach it either, look away now, here’s a video.