The ballistic Qashqai R promises swivel-eyed levels of insanity

The Juke R was ridiculously, spectacularly and stupidly unnecessary and…well, awesome. Not to be outdone by its six-eyed sibling, the Nissan Qashqai R promises similar levels of crazy, and perhaps even more.

Built by R35 GT-R mentalists Severn Valley Motorsport, in some obscure corner of the United Kingdom, the Nissan R started life as a humdrum Qashqai+2 (the longer one) and by sheer genius is almost exactly the same length as a the famed GT-R, give or take a few millimetres.

Essentially the Qashqai R is a GT-R silk sock wearing a Qashqai boot and while a not so simple body transplant may have been enough for some, the boys at SVM set about fettling the GT-R’s already massively powerful 3.8 litre twin-turbo V6, and fettle they did as the Qashqai R now develops a ludicrous 820kW! Blimey from Blighty!

Reports the lucky lads from TopGear who blagged an exclusive first drive in the Qashqai R:

“The 3.8-litre V6 was bored out to 4.1-litres, forged pistons and rods capable of handling almost 1000kW were fitted, the whole lot was balanced and treated to SVM cylinder heads, bigger SVM turbos with bigger compressor pipes, high-flow intake pipes, a cat-less stainless steel exhaust, better cooling, motorsport injectors with Bugatti Veyron fuel pumps, a modified clutch and diff brace, carbon brakes with braided brake lines all round, KW coilover suspension with Eibach anti-roll bars front and rear, new electronics, 20in alloys, and the full interior from the R35 GT-R. Oh, and some Bose audio.”

0-100km/hour is dispatched with in 2.7 seconds, and top speed is said to be somewhere around 320km/hour. How much for this Frankensteinian hatchet job? Presumably if you have to ask you can’t afford it, but if you can, you’ll have to contact Severn Valley Motorsport yourself.

I wonder if they’ll accept a layby?