This Russian company lets you turn your SUV into something Bond would be proud of

Ask the average urban SUV owner why they’ve decided to buy something designed for crossing jungles and deserts when all they do is ferry themselves back and forth between work and their answer will inevitably include the word “safety” at some point. If I’ve got a massive, sturdily built vehicle, the logic goes, then I’m less likely to get hurt if another massive, sturdily built vehicle hits me. But what if you view your daily commute as an act of war rather than an all out battle?

Well in that case, we’d like you to meet Dartz, a Russian company that’s about to release an SUV genuinely inspired by the world of espionage. Built to celebrate the 100th anniversary of Russia’s Motorised Infantry, the Black Shark (yes that really is it’s name) comes with a spec-sheet that would make Q from the James Bond series envious.

Featuring the platform and powerplant from a 2015 Mercedes-Benz GL63 V8 or GL65 V12 (the latter can be tuned to 1 500bhp), this very mean-looking SUV includes the following as options:

• Vigiton: A “vigilance telemetric control system, capable of constant monitoring of driver’s psycho-physiological condition and overall awareness, so you don’t have to worry about unreliable driver.”
• Electrochromatic windows (automatically tinting.)
• “Disappearing” door handles with an “anti-paparazzi shock-device.”
• A completely Kevlar-titanium body (to mitigate attack from magnetic mines.)
• Rotating bulletproof grill (why does it rotate?)
• Fingerprint recognition and retinal scanners Dartz calls “Golden Eye” (sounds familiar.)
• Sirens/Alarms to scatter crowds.
• And a Vertu phone that’s leather-stitched and diamond-encrusted to your pleasure which can run all those accessories and monitor the vehicle’s condition, tire pressure, what have you.

There’s very clearly been zero political correctness with this car then and Dartz seems rather proud of that.

As the company says:

Let’s face it, you are bored of serial-made cars. We all are. Downsizing, eco-friendly recycled plastic materials and law regulations are making ways to stand out among the best in the car industry very inconvenient. With Black Shark fully customizable features and appearance you get a car that is one-off masterpiece and forever will stay that way.

We could give you highlights from Dartz’ press release as an example of how crazy the thinking behind this vehicle really is, but we thought it best to share the entire thing with you.

Dartz Black Shark Press Release Teaser

Expect to see it in a wild street chase near you soon.