9 of the most bizarre Christmas presents you can buy online

Tired of the same old soap on a rope, bottle of wine or pair of socks Christmas present clichés? Want to liven up the present selection under the tree this year? Here are some of the most bizarre presents and festive season items to be found on Etsy and Pinterest.

It might be a hangover from Movember, but there seems to be a much wider than expected range of moustache-related, festive-season themed paraphernalia to be had. So to keep the moustachioed hipster in your life happy, choose from the following:

• Chocolate Peppermint Holiday Moustache

  According to the Etsy write up, this product is great for manly gifts, funny props, photo shoots and eating. For around R 26 ($3) you get a Chocolate Peppermint/Creme De Menthe Holiday Moustache Pop wrapped in individual cellophane bags and tied with fun curling ribbon (your choice of colour, if themed for an event). Custom theme colours are also available, as are bulk discounts.

• Staching through the snow vinyl decals


Decorate your home with these punny vinyl decals from New York vinyl. The moustache decals come in various colours and sizes. Apparently they last forever if used indoors, so that’s good.

A snip at R 70 ($7.95).

• Mustache Ornament Set

  Finally, if the vinyl decal and moustache holiday pops didn’t make your fondness for moustaches clear enough, you can carry the theme through to your Christmas tree decorations with this ornament set.

  These ornaments are made of glorious furry moustaches, with basal yarn to hang them from, backed with neutral-coloured felt. They are the perfect gift for a gentleman or moustache-lover in your life, says the Etsy write up, and will set you back R 80 ($9).

If moustache ornaments aren’t your thing, perhaps these bizarre alien foetus ornaments are!?

More Christmas tree pimping

Keeping with the tree decorating, take your pick of a range of tree skirts from Etsy. These presumably have a dual function of looking pretty and keeping those pesky pine needles off your floor.

Here come Santa Claws

Of course you can’t leave the feline and canine members of the family out of the fun. For a cool R 105 ($12) you too can pimp your moggy with this natty festive season tie from Snoop Catty on Etsy.

According to the blurb, the collar is specifically designed to be lightweight for cats, and is fitted with a safety clip and adjustable elastic. You will need to hand wash it though, and iron on a low heat. It also comes in five sizes, including kitten.

In my case, I suspect any attempt to put this tie anywhere near either of my cats will result in a Christmas Day trip to the emergency room.

Find more festive fun for the four-legged family members here.

Season’s greeting cards

In this day and age, it’s a novelty to receive something by snail mail. But these Christmas cards want to remind you that big brother is still watching, with their eye-bally design.

Yours for R35 ($4).

Gifts for the friends who have everything, spotted on Pinterest

Spotted on Pinterest were a nose-shaped soap dispenser and a portable toilet you hitch to your car’s tow-bar led me to the gifting madness that is to be found on Crestock.com. Top picks include an infinite banana – all the rage in Japan apparently, and a bacontux, which it turns out is neither made of bacon, nor real according to the comments.