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Social media is massive now, we get it. You don’t need me to tell you that Facebook’s 1 billion monthly active users and Pinterest’s meteoric rise mean big business (and big bucks) to savvy companies.
But with this rise comes a boom in business for self-proclaimed social media gurus, and I should know. That said, there’s no excuse for the boom in bloated job titles, from ‘Digital PR Commando’ to ‘New Media Ninja’, that is sweeping through LinkedIn like a trending topic.
Here are 20 of the most ridiculous social media job titles that you’ll come across in your travels.
1. Social Media Rockstar
What is this? Are you a drummer or a guitarist? Working in social media marketing does not put you on a par with Keith Richards and Mick Jagger.
2. Director of Chat Marketing
Presumably this isn’t purely limited to Facebook Chat.
3. Senior Social Media Capability Architect
It’s not even worth having a guess at what this means – presumably, it’s like being a Junior Social Media Capability Architect, only with a slightly better salary.
4. Social Media Tactician
‘Strategist’ is forgiveable, but ‘tactician’? When did managing a Facebook page turn into World War III?
One can only presume that this is the Editor-in-Chief (what’s one of those?) of the blogging world.
6. Social Media Wizard
Unless you went to Hogwarts, you’re not a wizard.
7. Brand Promoter
There’s nothing inherently wrong with this, but it’s clunky and vague – surely everyone in the marketing department qualifies as a brand promoter?
8. Director of Community
I can see where they’re going with this one, but you can’t direct a community – the community chooses its own direction. At best, you can gently guide it.
9. Social Activationist
I’m guessing that this guy, who shall remain nameless, sets up Facebook and Twitter pages and then just leaves them to be buried by abuse.
10. Chief People-Herder
What? You can’t say that!
11. Social Media Ninja
How many times? You’re not a ninja/pirate/rockstar/wizard.
12. Client Engagement Manager
Again, there’s nothing specifically wrong here, it’s just a great way to make a warm, organic process seem cold and unemotional.
13. Community Data Guerrilla
According to Google Define, this means that you use data from the community to ‘fight a stronger force by sabotage and harassment’. Do you really want that on your business cards?
14. Social Media Enthusiast
You’re a professional ‘enthusiast’? I’m enthusiastic about beer, but I have yet to find a way to monetise it.
15. Idea Inventor
This is simultaneously vague and big-headed – what ideas do you invent? A revolutionary new type of toaster, perhaps? Oh, you mean you’re a social media marketer? I see.
16. Online Community and Social Media Czar
Seriously, a czar? An early European ruler of social media and the online community? If you say so…
17. Conversation Manager
This is a bit like being a ‘Free Speech Dictator’ – conversations are thriving, organic creatures. Sure, you can guide them, given enough subtlety – outright managing them is both impossible and counter-productive.
18. Social Media Missionary
Okay, so I can appreciate the use of metaphor to suggest that you travel to foreign lands to spread the word about the good (Face)book, but unless you worship the internet as a god then you should probably leave this title well alone.
19. Social Media Evangelist
If missionary is a bad idea, so is evangelist – besides, we’re no longer in the dark ages of the internet. People already know about social – if they’ve not seen the value by now, they’re unlikely to change their mind after what can only be described as one of your sermons.
20. Social Media Guru
This is the one that you’ll hear most often — even those with more reasonable titles find themselves described as gurus from time-to-time. The problem is, they’re not Hindu mystics sitting on top of an isolated mountain in the Himalayas.
Feature image: Merakist/Unsplash