6 hot tips for handling trolls without losing your temper

Trolling is an ongoing source of social media angst. “Don’t feed the trolls” is a mantra of anyone who’s spent much time on Twitter. But it’s more complicated than that, and when you’re being targeted, it’s very easy to lose your temper – and quite possibly, your reputation along with it.

Recently I ran the @CurateZAR twitter account for a week. Every week, a different curator runs the account, sharing their personal stories as well as opinions. Discussion is often robust, and the experience was no different for me. I discussed everything from my mixed race heritage, to favourite brands and Kim Kardashian.

On the first day of curating, a follower tweeted me to tell me that my Xhosa mother had failed me, as I didn’t speak Xhosa and opted to speak english growing up in a mixed race household. That was a personal insult, and it took a lot for me to ignore it and move on.

How did I react? I thanked him for his opinion and moved onto the next mentions. Many other tweeters defended my honour and I thank them for that.

The reaction to my tweets about Kim Kardashian was much more aggressive, and the trolls were out in force. I was sworn at and pretty much told to jump.

How did I react? I replied with a “LOL” to most comments and then ignored the trolls. Much to their irritation, I didn’t really engage with them. Eventually they gave up and looked for someone else to bait.

I learned a lot from my week running @CurateZAR, and these are the points that stood out for me.

1. Don’t feed the trolls

It’s a social media mantra because it makes sense. Inflammatory comments and off-topic updates are just there to derail conversation and give the troller power in the form of undivided attention. Ignore it. Don’t get angry and don’t lash out.

2. Disarm the troll

Sometimes a calm, or even friendly response can knock someone totally off guard. Read the comments or content again, calm down and respond rationally. The minute you feel you are becoming angry or annoyed, stop responding.

3. Don’t misconstrue sarcasm or biting humour for insults or trolling

Social Media makes us brave and also many of us think we are comedians, and also many people cant take a joke. Re-read the comment or update, if you are 100% it is done in a trolling manor, then repeat steps 1 and 2.

4. Blocking is your friend

If you feel you are too angry or the troll is just being unbearable, click on that block button and sip your tea.

5. Don’t take it too seriously

Twelebs and celebs like to throw words like “defamation” around. Legal action in response to online trolling is still a very new area in South Africa and proving online harassment or defamation can be a costly exercise. The best option in my experience: let it go. It’s an attention seeking exercise by an online troll and the more attention they get, the more they do it.

6. Read your replies out loud before responding

If a topic of online conversation or comment makes your blood boil to the point where you actually want to blow a gasket, I suggest you read your reply or post to yourself or imagine saying this to friends or family. Would they be hurt by what you’re saying? Or a little offended? Or angry? If you answered yes, then step away from the keyboard and don’t send.

We are all responsible for what we write online and what we say out of anger and annoyance. Let’s start being a little more aware about it, because there’s so to be gained from having good, honest conversations – and so much to be lost if we allow them to be derailed by trolls.