7 things you need to know about fostering authentic relationships

American self-help author and motivational speaker, Dr Walter Wayne Dyer, said in one of his lectures, “The mantra of the ego is What’s in it for me? and the mantra of the higher self is How may I serve?”

Jon M. Huntsman said, “Selfless giving unto others represents one’s true wealth”.

Madeline Bridges said, “Then give to the world the best you have. And the best will come back to you”.

How do you apply these quotes in your business relationships? I have provided some examples below.

1. Lose the ego

Words relating to ego include I, me, us, we and ours. From an arrogance perspective, there are words such as aloofness, imperiousness, pomposity, swagger and vanity. In terms of pride there is self-admiration, self-satisfaction, self-worth and self-sufficiency.

How many times have you come across marketing and sales messages which convey the words mentioned above? The company or person will talk about their company, their product, their solutions and services.

My advice when initiating any form of engagement with a prospect is to lose your ego. Remove everything relating to you or your products, services and solutions out of your messages. I am not saying that this information should not exist at all, but it should not be “pushed” to prospects. They can find out more about your company and products at the right time.

2. Promote others

We discussed in point one above that individuals are generally more interested in themselves than others. You can tell them about your company and products, however it will not interest them. They are asking the “What’s in it for me?” question, not the “How may I serve?” question. If you want to attract someone to you, do things that will make them feel good about themselves. If they have achieved something significant, compliment them.

3. Share their thought leadership

From a social media perspective, the ideal way to gain the attention of someone is to share their social media posts. On Twitter, set your notifications so that you receive alerts when they tweet. Retweet relevant tweets and provide introductions to other Twitter users. If they are sharing posts or publishing on LinkedIn, make a point of reading the article first, liking it, providing a comment then sharing the post with your connections. You should also include other relevant LinkedIn users in your comments, or when you share, so that the article gains more exposure. If the person has a blog, subscribe and like, comment and share when new blog posts are published. If the person has a company page on Facebook and LinkedIn, follow and monitor updates from the company page and share when relevant.

4. Introduce others to your network

People always appreciate it when they are introduced to others. The important thing here is to introduce your prospects to the right people. If the person is a Chief Information Officer, they would be interested in being introduced to other Chief Information Officers in your network. On Twitter you can simply use @mentions to make introductions. On LinkedIn, you can use the “Share Profile” function from the person’s LinkedIn profile or you can send them a message and include the person to whom to would like to introduce them as a recipient.

5. Provide value-adding content

As mentioned above, people are interested in themselves, their problems and challenges, their careers and their future. They are asking the “What’s in it for me?” question. The best approach from your perspective is to ask the “How may I serve?” question.

To really grab the attention of someone, share content that will enrich their lives and add value. So instead of talking about your products and services, turn it on its head and look at it from the other perspective. Identify the business challenges and problems your products, services and solutions address.

When you develop thought leadership, identify the business challenges and present ways to address the business challenges, highlighting how the person or organisation will benefit. On social media also share value-adding content developed by other individuals and organisations. If you are sharing great content, the recipient will be more than happy to hear from you from time-to-time. They will react negatively if you keep contacting, them, telling them about your company and products.

6. Be genuine and authentic

Being authentic is THE most important thing to keep in mind. If you are not being authentic and have ulterior motives, it will backfire on you. Generate authentic relationships and ensure all engagement and interaction is authentic.

7. What goes around comes around

If you follow the advice provided above diligently and patiently, you will see positive results. This approach develops long-term, sustainable relationships which are mutually beneficial. If you lose your ego and consistently promote others, introduce them to your network and share value-adding content, you will be seen as a valued and trusted advisor and will stay top-of-mind. At the right time, your network will reciprocate, promoting you and your thought leadership and people will turn to you for help when it is required and will recommend you to others.