Netflix knows what you did when your partner was away

Valentine’s Day is over and it’s time to come clean. You spent the day spoiling your partner, but they deserve to know the truth.

You cheated.

I know it. You know it. Netflix knows it.

You promised them you wouldn’t watch that series without them, and then you went and did it anyway. At least you’re not alone.

Netflix has released a survey that compiles how often people cheat, why they cheat, and with which shows.

If you’re in Brazil and you haven’t Netflix-cheated, then I have some bad news for you: your partner probably has. 58% of Brazilians surveyed reported that they had cheated and 42% weren’t even sorry.

58% of Brazilians revealed that they’ve Netflix-cheated. For shame

And if you and your partner are watching a comedy together, now is the time to start checking their phone. 46% of all cheaters said that they had cheated with a comedy, while only 22% succumbed to the temptations of documentaries.

But if it’s any consolation, 80% of cheaters claimed it was impulsive — so the chances of premeditated betrayal are slim. It doesn’t fix the problem, but it should ease the sting — unless you’re in Hong Kong, where 40% believe that Netflix cheating is worse than actual infidelity.

It should come as no surprise that the most cheated with shows are The Walking Dead, Black Mirror and Breaking Bad, because let’s face it, fans of these shows want to watch the world burn.

If you’re a cheater who wants to reform, Netflix has you covered. Just use Michael Bolton to apologise for you. Godspeed.