Last week in trailers: Spider-Man, IT and Game of Thrones

Last week was a doozy for South African politics, and on the same level of importance, it was a doozy for trailers.

Here are the most talked-about trailers of the last week. Fun fact: only one exists on a realistic Earth, and it’s about how we’re killing it.

Let’s go.

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Spider-Man is arguably the best Marvel superhero. He’s fun to watch, he has girlfriends that are cooler than him, and his films aren’t a grimdark depression fest that make your eyeballs cry for colour.

So why on God’s green earth is Tony Stark the leading man in this trailer? I may be biased due to my disdain for Robert Downey Jr’s whole schtick, but I would rather watch Uncle Ben die again than watch Tony Stark groom Peter Parker for 2 hours.

Zendaya is right there, Marvel.

You can catch Spider-Man in action on 7 July 2017.

An Inconvenient Sequel

That’s right. Al Gore is still here and he’s more determined than ever to stop our rising tides.

“A decade after An Inconvenient Truth brought climate change into the heart of popular culture, comes the riveting and rousing follow-up that shows just how close we are to a real energy revolution,” reads the description. “While the stakes have never been higher, the perils of climate change can be overcome with human ingenuity and passion.”

The trailer features Donald Trump as the biggest threat to protecting our dying Earth. But it isn’t pessimistic — Al Gore assures that change is possible, and it’s already on its way.

The documentary will be released in US theatres on 28 July.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

From the director of The Fifth Element and Lucy comes the futuristic story of special operatives charged with saving a city that is home to the knowledge of every species in the universe.

Starring in the adaptation of French sci-fi comic Valérian and Laureline is Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevigne, and, no, Delevigne still can’t seem to act.

The trailer is visually breathtaking (and any new-to-film sci-fi is exciting), but how the bland leading actors will fit into such a colourful world is yet to be seen.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets will be in theatres 21 July.

War for the Planet of the Apes

Disclaimer: I have never seen a Planet of the Apes film. The appeal of watching human-like apes just never stuck with me. (Aren’t humans already human-like apes?)

Needless to say, I went into the trailer a skeptic — but I was pleasantly surprised.

The third film in the prequel trilogy stars Andy Serkis and Woody Harrelson and tells of the war between human and ape.

The visual effects look phenomenal, the story absorbing and there are apes riding horses. They ride horses.

So if you’re all caught up with the “animals riding animals” subreddit, why not catch War for the Planet of the Apes on 14 July?

The apes ride into battle on horses.

IT

You cannot convince me IT is not a comedy. You just can’t.

Exhibit A: Kid runs after paper boat, dramatic music plays. Kid runs into public works sign, slips and falls. Music ends. Comedy.

Exhibit B: A clown is hiding in the sewers. Comedy.

Exhibit C: A woman flicks her hair dramatically like she’s a high fashion model. She is in full clown makeup, smizing at the camera. Classic comedy.

And finally, exhibit D: Pennywise runs like Tina Belcher. Case closed.

IT is in theatres 8 September.

Game of Thrones

David Benioff and D.B. Weiss may not understand the characters and world of Westeros at all, but they do know drama.

In the official promo for Game of Thrones’ penultimate season, Cersei, Daenerys and Jon Snow walk down corridors to James’ Sit Down. Candles are blown out, eyes are closed and winter is here.

Not much more is revealed, but there’s enough anticipation in this trailer to satisfy your needs — just ask the 12 million people who viewed the trailer in 3 days.

Game of Thrones premieres 16 July.