Apple conference call to detail plans for massive cash reserve

Apple is set to hold a conference call detailing precisely what it plans to with near US$100-billion in spare cash it has lying around.

The Cupertino-based tech giant announced that CEO Tim Cook and Chief Financial Officer Peter Oppenheimer would be hosting the call.

Apple has provided a couple of ways for the general public to listen in on the call, including a live webcast (Warning: requires Quicktime).

Just don’t go expecting the two bigwigs to talk about how many new iPads have been sold.

“Apple will not be providing an update on the current quarter nor will any topics be discussed other than cash” it said.

Cook recently told shareholders that the company has more money than it needs and that it would have to think “very deeply” about what to do it.

TheNextWeb speculates that the tech giant could pay out shareholder dividends with cash — which seems likely — or invest in a technology of some sort — also likely, given Apple’s history of buying out smaller tech operations.

One of the wilder theories is that it could buy out Twitter. This kind of speculation is driven largely around the tight integration between the social network and Apple.

Whatever Apple actually decides to with its enormous cash hoard, Memeburn will be on hand to let you know what goes down.