Stomach pump 2.0: AspireAssist sucks the food right out of your belly

Most gadgets fill superficial needs. Some empty our stomachs and enrich our lives. This is the AspireAssist, and it sucks the food out of your stomach.

If you have a transparent stomach, AspireAssist will look like this

AspireAssist is the brainchild of Segway Creator Dean Kamen (not the one who rode off the cliff to his death). The gadget is fitted onto the body, with a tube surgically implanted into the stomach. This surgery doesn’t even require a local anesthetic and the procedure is said to take under twenty minutes. The user eats, and half-an-hour later the waste is pumped out of the body, hopefully into a toilet. It’s a rinse and repeat procedure, but after enough time roughly thirty percent of body waste is sucked out. The full, and gag-inducing video is embedded below. Eat after viewing.

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The grisly procedure is a sanitized affair, but how safe is it? Despite the website claiming that AspireAssist is “simple and safe”, medical experts say otherwise. “We eat because our body needs nutrients. If it could selectivity suck out the junk food, then it might have some value. But it just indiscriminately sucks out a third of what you’re eating,” says this nutritionist.

No one can buy this yet, but there are clinical trials underway in the US. For those who are keen, they can visit this site and sign up. AspireAssist, underneath this layer of complexity is a simple device that most likely does what it says on the tin. This is not a device we’ll ever review though, as the Gearburn team are lean jungle cats and all we hunger for are gadgets.