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9 useless gadgets for the permanently lazy
Modern society has made us infinitely lazy. Yes I said it. There’s nothing wrong with making our lives a little easier but some things should just never have been invented. For instance, how lazy can you get to not even be bothered to stir something in a pot? So how inane are the gadgets out there? More specifically, if you own one of the gadgets below then answer this question: has it really improved your life and do you feel more fulfilled as a result? Or, do you just feel slightly ashamed that you couldn’t be bothered to use your physical limbs?
Yes. A machine that stirs for you. Most people would, you know, just use a spoon. It doesn’t require much physical effort to actually stir something, so this completely blows my mind.
It’s not technically an electronic gadget, but it is pointless enough to crack a mention. Unless for some reason you’re disabled without the use of your arms (or you have really short arms) then I don’t understand this at all. One need only to reach over and season the food, why would you need a Spice Arm? Is your food so far away that you can’t reach it?
I can see the appeal of this one, but only because I know so many people who can’t seem to manage to open a bottle of wine without the cork disintegrating. That said, a good bottle opener and some practice would be much cheaper and less pretentious than placing your bottle of wine in a machine to open it.
Automatic Salt and Pepper Grinder
Or, pick up a manual grinder and you know, twist it.
Have a dog but hate playing with it? Dog owners, your time has come. The automatic tennis ball cannon plays fetch with your dog by firing a tennis ball in the air and waiting for the dog to bring it back. If you own one of these, you’re a bad person. I’m not a dog person and I’m saying that. Seriously. Get off your fat ass and go play with your dog.
Because it’s so difficult to unscrew the cap and squeeze the toothpaste onto your toothbrush yourself. Unlike the automatic soap dispenser (which I kind of understand because it minimises the spread of germs) this is a completely pointless device that perpetuates laziness.
Yes, some are too lazy to even make their own bed. Don’t get me wrong, I’m too lazy to make my bed at times, but then I just leave it, a grotesque reminder of my own inability to simply bend over and pull the covers up from the bottom. Oh, the shame! Of course if there’s a valid reason as to why you can’t actually make your own bed, then this becomes a great invention. But it should be illegal for able-bodied people to own one.
“Eating pasta has never been easier!” Yeah, well it’s not particularly difficult in the first place, is it? All it requires is a little wrist action. If you really wanted to, you could just go all Lady and the Tramp and suck it in without even touching a fork.
This has to be one of the laziest gadgets on this list. A machine that rotates your ice cream for you so that you don’t have to turn your wrist to lick it yourself. I actually thought this was a joke when I first saw it because honestly… who would buy something like this? But no, lazy people everywhere can rejoice.
