We know Apple’s celebrated voice assistant Siri can do a whole lot, but did you know she could soon be the voice of the entire iTunes catalogue?
Apple-centric parody news site Scoopertino has imagined a present in which Tim Cook and co. have become so enamoured with Siri that they decide to drop musicians entirely and let Siri take over on vocal duties for every song ever licensed to iTunes.
“Apple started a revolution by signing the major music companies. Now it’s re-igniting the revolution by throwing them out,” the site says.
Scoopertino reemphasised the massive love Apple has for Siri but also makes light of its saving abilities:
“We have every intention of paying for the music rights,” explained Cook. “We just don’t see the need to pay the performers and middle men.”
In a series of intensive tests, Apple engineers discovered that Siri has extraordinary range. Says one coder on the Siri team, “We knew she’d be a natural for classic rock and country, but she kills in hip-hop and gospel.”
Cook also believes that with Siri, people will love their music collection even more. “Honestly, can you understand what Hendrix is saying? Siri nails the words every time, clear as a bell.”
Here’s Siri singing Led Zeppelin classic ‘Stairway to Heaven’.
For some reason I can’t help imagining the possibilities of a duet between Siri and Stephen Hawking.