Dream phone edition: The Swiss Army iPhone 5

In a perfect world, what would you want on your iPhone? I’m not saying how much memory, or what size screen. I’m talking about perfect world outrageousness. Let’s get a bit unrealistic.

1. Zippo lighter
For all those times when you need a lighter, a Zippo always works best.

2. Shockproof
Quite an obvious and not too far-fetched feature; and one that everyone will want. Taking the cumbersome out of the usual shockproof designs would be key though. Apple could take a leaf out of Sony’s book with its Cybershot. I’m thinking titanium and polycarbonate.

3. Laser pointer
Because, let’s face it, they’re a lot of fun. You can play havoc with you neighbour’s dog all day long. Or maybe even scare a war veteran.

4. Taser
For those of us who live in not-so-safe places with people who want to steal your phone. Just taser them to the ground and show them what kind of phone they’re missing out on. Nothing non-lethal is going to drop someone like a taser.

5. Hydrophobic
Not only waterproof but water repelling. Get away foul water, you evil, evil element.

6. 3D hologram projector
Something that should come out within a decade I reckon. It could be used mainly to project keyboards or even mice. But the possibilities are vast.

7. Solar Powering
Say goodbye to cords. With Bluetooth and Wifi, there’s no real need for cords anymore, so why not just do away with them completely. Stick your phone in the sun and have it charge for no charge!

8. Call and response
It’s weird when people name their inanimate objects, but in this case it might work. Name your phone, and when you lose it, just call it by its name and it’ll respond, letting you know where it is, and how it’s feeling.

9. Transparency
Since seeing the first potential look of the iPhone 5 that sported a completely clear screen I was sold. Every other phone company would be flabbergasted and left in their dust. There’s not much else cooler than a transparent phone.

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